Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
