when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
