she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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