I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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