I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
