WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
