All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
