Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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