Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
