You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
