There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
