How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
4 words: hood of his car
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
