tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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