Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He has the fingertips of a God
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