i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
