halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
