I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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