i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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