shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
