hotel room ftw
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
