i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
