Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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