He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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