PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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