she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
