My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
