I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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