Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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