I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it because I queefed?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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