She's JV to your varsity
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
