i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
