Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
