i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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