Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
