And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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