I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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