saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
