I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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