the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
