the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
