I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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