I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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