I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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