Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My brain says no but my pants say off.

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  (902): My brain says no but my pants say off. http://tfl.nu/syce
  Replies (7) Good night (5018) Bad night (685)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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  (386): I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife http://tfl.nu/xcgm
  Replies (37) Good night (3915) Bad night (1388)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.

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  (405): Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever. http://tfl.nu/hc2j
  Replies (47) Good night (5111) Bad night (771)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me

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  (772): i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me http://tfl.nu/tlrb
  Replies (125) Good night (1769) Bad night (23758)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.

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  (630): Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches. http://tfl.nu/xanx
  Replies (10) Good night (3412) Bad night (1182)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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  (414): If i need to get strippers involved i will. http://tfl.nu/3tx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3295) Bad night (804)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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  (248): i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it. http://tfl.nu/5a93
  Replies (5) Good night (2316) Bad night (901)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That's yours. We cut you off.

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  (715): Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off? (651): That's yours. We cut you off. http://tfl.nu/7df9
  Replies (3) Good night (3870) Bad night (858)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm

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  (602): By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm http://tfl.nu/w681
  Replies (2) Good night (1559) Bad night (594)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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  (206): I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night. http://tfl.nu/kkxt
  Replies (4) Good night (1607) Bad night (522)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"

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  (715): He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl" http://tfl.nu/l2de
  Replies (17) Good night (471) Bad night (2978)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.

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  (972): I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/zrt1
  Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (645)
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  (562): View more from California

  Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?

  (916): View more from California

  My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude

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  (562): Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am? (916): My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude http://tfl.nu/ko0p
  Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (670)
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  (750): View more from

  Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

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  (750): Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on." http://tfl.nu/43jv
  Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over

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  (717): if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over http://tfl.nu/5a4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (261)

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