I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea