What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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