Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you still trying to smash that chick?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): you still trying to smash that chick? (1-248): it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober http://tfl.nu/22ty
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop" http://tfl.nu/felz
  Replies (19) Good night (5128) Bad night (2464)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them. http://tfl.nu/3lq3
  Replies (18) Good night (5920) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks.. http://tfl.nu/av5i
  Replies (13) Good night (1002) Bad night (4173)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  without a question

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox (1-860): without a question http://tfl.nu/lm2z
  Replies (10) Good night (4263) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday. http://tfl.nu/jjrt
  Replies (23) Good night (3848) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. (410): engineering majors are such efficient drunks. http://tfl.nu/xm4l
  Replies (22) Good night (8365) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r
  Replies (9) Good night (4151) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well. http://tfl.nu/o4bp
  Replies (16) Good night (1157) Bad night (2418)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5661) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you. http://tfl.nu/i94o
  Replies (6) Good night (1896) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (4081) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum http://tfl.nu/namq
  Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back http://tfl.nu/ajiv
  Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (454)

Randomize