Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .

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  (416): i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high . http://tfl.nu/d43n
  Replies (17) Good night (3054) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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  (615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9
  Replies (30) Good night (762) Bad night (3011)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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  (207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov
  Replies (7) Good night (3360) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.

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  (417): Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road. http://tfl.nu/ry0e
  Replies (7) Good night (3255) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

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  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3932) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.

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  (314): he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it. http://tfl.nu/ukah
  Replies (3) Good night (1528) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.

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  (603): I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment. http://tfl.nu/fbcm
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.

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  (901): oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home. http://tfl.nu/ixn7
  Replies (5) Good night (897) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Would you like season tickets to my vagina?

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  (502): Would you like season tickets to my vagina? http://tfl.nu/fkgh
  Replies (12) Good night (1802) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (564): View more from Washington

  I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.

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  (564): I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened. http://tfl.nu/a3m1
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.

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  (512): You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you. http://tfl.nu/5imo
  Replies (1) Good night (924) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?

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  (304): Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved? http://tfl.nu/lfe1
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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  (504): Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up? (1-504): That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies? http://tfl.nu/79n3
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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  (860): grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone http://tfl.nu/vpvv
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation

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  (407): Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation http://tfl.nu/aq4y
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (356)

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