She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?