How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.