Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
lol hangovers are for mortals.