Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

  (817): View more from Texas

  ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

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  (214): Big sunglasses are the new paper bag (817): ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex http://tfl.nu/2sef
  Replies (38) Good night (3147) Bad night (868)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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  (860): I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/zegq
  Replies (17) Good night (4402) Bad night (604)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

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  (973): I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like. http://tfl.nu/4kjo
  Replies (13) Good night (4943) Bad night (741)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (10294) Bad night (906)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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  (269): im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower http://tfl.nu/s38n
  Replies (15) Good night (3170) Bad night (832)
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  (714): View more from California

  if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.

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  (714): if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed. http://tfl.nu/eogf
  Replies (3) Good night (3110) Bad night (1032)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way

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  (508): Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way http://tfl.nu/8wap
  Replies (5) Good night (2357) Bad night (1016)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.

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  (208): i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful. http://tfl.nu/r6g5
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (1960)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1521) Bad night (709)
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  (916): View more from California

  Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...

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  (916): Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers... http://tfl.nu/ayxd
  Replies (5) Good night (1766) Bad night (759)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?

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  (704): I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class? http://tfl.nu/l30v
  Replies (2) Good night (719) Bad night (382)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours

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  (602): Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours http://tfl.nu/swqx
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (343)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!

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  (256): Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN! http://tfl.nu/hbjb
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (265)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.

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  (770): just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories. http://tfl.nu/1xk0
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (243)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.

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  (780): He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out. http://tfl.nu/cpib
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (277)

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