don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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