If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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