I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
