I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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