So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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