Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
