Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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