his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
