the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
