Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have fence marks all over my body
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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