I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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