put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
