I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
