i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
