i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
