try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
