butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
