Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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